Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Hot Mess Express-Are You Aboard? (Part I, Make Up Misdemeanors)

     I sure hope people are running away from this train, rather than hopping on it. However, some of you are content with looking a hot mess and won't give up your seat for anybody. I know people like to express individuality, but there is a fine line between being eccentric and looking "tore up". Also, there are some people who are just plain lazy. I asked a few people what they considered fashion "oh-hell-no's" when wearing makeup . You either have seen people commit these makeup "misdemeanors" or you probably have been guilty of them yourself.
     Misdemeanor#1. "Black" Lipliner. There is no such thing as "black" lipliner. Stop lining your lips with black eye liner. If you are unsure how to wear make up, consult a professional or pick up a fashion magazine, and read the cosmetics section. There is no excuse for this mess. It is tacky! Unless you charge your "clients" by the hour to support your drug habit, by all means, keep wearing your black (eye) lip liner. This brings me to Misdemeanor #2. Remember when we were in Junior High and we didn't really know how to apply eye make up so we drew that one line across our eyelids and called that "putting on make up"? Well, it is 2010 and the one line no longer is acceptable. If you are too lazy to make up your face the right way I suggest you don't attempt to put any on at all.
     There are some cosmetic shortcuts that have been featured in magazines to help women apply makeup "in a cinch" or "on the go", but then there are some things that indicate that some people are just plain lazy. Again, seek a professional; Go to a cosmetic counter at a department store or mall and get a free make over (be courteous to whomever served you and at least buy a lipstick or eyecolor). While getting a free make over, the make up artist will show you how to properly apply eye make up, which brings me to Misdemeanor #3. Blend, blend, blend! Don't take an intense color, like turquoise, from lid to brow-unless, you are a cast member from "Cirque Du Soleil", or Ronald MacDonald. Maybellene and Cover Girl have eye compacts with instructions on how to apply eye makeup from lid to brow-lid, crease, and highlights.
     If you are a Sephora fanatic like myself, Stila Cosmetics have great instructional palletes that "talk" you through the process of creating nice eye shadow combinations, from "Au Natural" to "smoky". Misdemeanor #4. Mismatched foundation. Please get a foundation that matches your skin tone and stop scaring people, you don't know who has heart problems, so be considerate. Seriously, please seek a professional when choosing foundation for your skin so you won't look like a powdered donut. Don't be so arrogant that you'd rather look like a pie face than admit that you need professional help. Not only that, caking on foundation can clog the pores, break outs and even cause wrinkling.
     Remember, if you are unsure of how to properly apply or wear makeup, consult a professional, be it a "Lancome Lady" or a You Tube clip. Flip around in a Vogue or Glamour Magazine, that have monthly features on make up trends and how to practice them at home. It is 2010, and there are too many resources online, in stores, and in magazines for anyone to have any excuses. As Helena Rubenstein, a famous cosmetician stated, "there are no ugly women, just lazy ones."


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, you are too funny!

Dita Tastemakr said...

@MissNeira: Thank You! I am a humorist (on the low), lol. But people need to know when to seek professional help! That is what these services are available for..the public.

elizabeth Tolley said...

Oh my god. this is tooooo funny and needed to be said....keep it up!



Dita Tastemakr said...

@Elizabeth Tolley: Thank You, there was plenty that needed to be said and more! Thanks for reading!